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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Dating Rules For Guys

There you are at some wedding reception, bar, event. You name it. You are trying to talk to a woman you think is attractive, but you can’t get two words in edgewise because “Mr. Funny Guy” is running his obnoxious mouth. Has this ever happened to you? – Probably!

So basically, what you want to do is just stay cool, make funny comments here and there when the opportunity presents itself. This lets the woman know you are interested in chatting with her and gives her an “out” when “Mr. Funny Guy” is either done or she has had enough.

You don’t have to be the loudest guy in the room or be the center of attention to get a woman’s attention. So don’t try and talk over Mr. Funny Guy. Doing this would mean you would have to be louder and more obnoxious! Ugh! Eventually Mr. Funny Guy will shoot himself in the foot. He is usually just annoying half the people around anyway, and the woman you are trying to talk too will eventually get tired of his antics and move on. – And if you have been inserting comments when you’ve had the chance, you can be the next thing she moves on to.

You don’t even have to be too assertive. When it comes to dating rules for guys, just making some eye contact and a few comments will let her know that you are indeed interested. So when the break comes from Mr. Funny Guy, be sure to step in. Be calm, cool and confident when you do. – And when you decide to show that you are a funny guy too, just keep your “funniness” in check. Walk the line of funny and cool.

Avoiding Dating Disasters

There is no scientific basis for what I share, and this commentary is intended almost exclusively for women, as I believe that a woman’s profoundly unique inclinations to operate as nurturers and helpmates also tend to make us prime abuser-bait. So as you consider re-entering this realm, these are a few things I would urge you to remember.

  • Remember that you need time to heal. You may never heal completely, but you need to be sufficiently healthy and emotionally strong enough to recognize unsafe or unhealthy men and walk away from them without blinking. There is no specific timeline for testing those waters; however, if you are dangerously fragile and are torn between jumping in or waiting a while longer, please wait. Time for healing and a balanced measure of wholeness are important pursuits and should not be rushed. Furthermore, loneliness is a poor motivation and could leave you vulnerable. You need to be okay by yourself before you can be okay with someone else.
  • Remember the needs of your children. Make sure your home base is well-covered and that your children feel secure and are able to handle any additional time you are away from them. Consider whether they are okay with the idea of you dating. Keep their needs first in this process even if that means waiting.

With children in mind, I personally recommend meeting new people at a neutral, public location rather than your home, at least until you feel like the relationship may have some long-term potential, so that men are not going in and out of your children’s lives. You don’t want them to get the impression that relationships are inherently temporary, nor do you want them to grow too attached to someone who may or may not remain in their lives.

  • Remember that you have already been through hell. If you don’t want to walk that road again, avoid the kind of man who will be more than happy to take you there. Even if you know what kind of relationship you want, you may be attracted to something else, something familiar – and unsafe. This is not a call to paranoia, but rather to caution, a reminder to be willing to see legitimate issues, as we – as recovering abuse victims – have been trained to rationalize away those waving red and yellow flags.
  • Remember to be patient. This is not a race, and you are not looking for any man’s attention, you are waiting for the right man’s attention. Whether you choose to wait for an acquaintance to ask you out to lunch or you decide to join a dating website, try not to panic, push or rush things, and listen, listen, listen to your instincts. Don’t feel any obligation to “make it work.” If that is your attitude, you are likely headed down a very familiar and unhealthy path.
  • Remember that you want a protector not a project. Any man with whom you decide to spend some time should be emotionally and spiritually balanced and healthy. He should be a gentleman, not a show-boater, someone who sees you and hears what you have to say. He should be someone who would clearly look out for your needs rather than merely seeking to meet his own.
  • Remember to set your standards high and hold to them. Just because a guy notices you does not necessarily make him worthy of your attention. You are under no obligation whatsoever to “give a guy a chance.” If there is something in his manner or attitude that makes you uncomfortable, don’t waste your time or his. You’re better off saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Meets Female Resistance

A man can avoid being rejected by having confidence in his own ability to advance and sustain the relationship through his decisive actions that are based on the emotions that he is currently feeling for the woman.

Once she knows how you feel, she will begin testing your confidence, ability and courage to do whatever it is you want to do with her.

When you meet a girl, you need to be interested in her for more than just her body. And you must stay calm.

If she’s your goal, she’ll become attracted to you as you calmly pass her resistance tests.

You found her. Now she intends to find you!

Probably the biggest reason why women want a man “to just be himself,” is because attracting a woman is not about anything fake. It’s not about pick-up lines. It’s about you! And how she relates to you.

You’ll be tested by her to reveal your confidence, patience, emotional calmness, ability, courage, assertiveness, persistence, aggression, playfulness, your vision of the future, how you control your social environment, and if you are happy where you are in your life.

If you have a reasonable grasp on most of these characteristics, you should do alright.

So let’s begin.

Women like taking small steps that lead to bigger steps.

You must be patient and take small steps toward getting her warmed up for what you have planned.

If you concentrate on being up front with your intentions and making small moves and offers that lead to bigger moves and offers. Her receptivity to your escalating moves and offers will give you all the clues you need to know about her level of arousal and her willingness to progress to the next level with you.

If she’s ready, you’ll need to have the courage to take her to the next level.

Unfortunately for her, weak dudes make the mistake of trying to lead her to the next level with a weak attempt, such as; “You could stay the night if you want to.” This shows her his lack of knowledge about her level of arousal and the feelings she has for him, and it indicates his lack of arousal and feelings. So now he has to wait around to get her approval. His approach to the interaction is emotionally weak, so he simply disqualifies himself from having a good night with her, because he won’t ask for what they both want.

Deep inside she wants to be with him, and that’s about as deep inside her as he’s going to get.

Women will reject a man that would rather not display dominant alpha male characteristics. Nice guys always seem to need approval before making a move. That is LAME! He’ll be rejected as a potential mate because he constantly seeks her approval instead of just making solid actionable decisions that are based on information she’s been giving him.

If she says no, then so be it. But, a man has to at least have the courage to try!

The Chase Flip

Let’s look at a strong example of exploiting the read. You kiss her then lean back to look into her eyes while saying, “If you knew what I want to do to you right now.” She’ll ask, “What do you want to do to me?” You take her and gently push her up against a wall, grab her hands and lift them over her head while you kiss her passionately and press your body against hers. Then slowly run your hands down her arms and the sides of her chest, then turn and walk away.

All of a sudden you are the one resisting her by walking away, and now she’s forced to take action. You’re making her chase you to get more of what you’ve got for her. Your action aroused her, then you take it away, and now her action must pull you in. Voila!

If she wants more, confidently tell her, “Stay with me tonight baby, I don’t want you to go.” This shows her that you have powerful feelings for her and that you are aware of her level of arousal, and you let her know that the feelings that she’s holding deep inside are mutually held. So you just had to let her know you want her to stay.

Give her small samples of your plans for her and she’ll feel the powerful emotions you have for her.

It’s not just what you say to her and what you want to do with her, it’s how you feel about what you say to her and want to do with her. As soon as you know that she feels the same way, you need to have the courage to do something about that!

Some women don’t know how they should feel about getting sexual with a man. If you are calm and relaxed about it, she’ll feel that way also. If you’re feeling super aroused, and she’s mirroring that! She’s ready to decide to stay?

All your confidence, courage, and leadership potential, is nothing without clear and deliberate action.

Let her know you want her to stay! If she’s turned on, you’ll both be glad she did!

She could still say “no”, and she has the right to do that, and a man should respect that. But for now at least, she knows how you feel about her, and how strong those feelings are for her. That is amazingly seductive to women. The next time you meet up with her could be spectacular! Some women won’t do one night stands. So give her something to think about. Second night stands can be good too!

A word on playing nice with others.

There are times when we all need to know when to back off. I certainly don’t condone abusing women, or forcing anything on them that they don’t want. Creating attraction is the mature way to win her affection.

About Terrible Kiss

The problem is a lot of guys really don’t know how to kiss a girl. Ask any woman what a bad kiss is and she will tell you:

1. Too hard

2. Rough lips

3. Too Wet

4. Too much tongue

5. Bad Breath

6. No Passion

What a lot of people don’t know is, kissing is a very important factor in a healthy relationship and sex life!

There is an art to kissing and you have to master it!

Guys have been trying to master this art for ever, but never really get to the point where they get it right. Don’t get me wrong,there are some girl who are not good at this too.

I think that the biggest mistake that you guys make in your quest to learn how to kiss, is that guys take tips from their friends and that just leads to disaster!

That’s just like asking a guy with two left feet to teach you how to dance!

Some people will never admit that they are the one who is a disappointing kisser. They dread that moment when all is going to be revealed on that porch, in that car, on that beach, or where ever it may be. Can you honestly say that you are a good kisser? Are you honest when you claim that the girls melt to your kiss? Well maybe only you know the truth about that!

When a girl allows you to kiss her, her expectations are high! She wants a nice passionate, soft kiss with the right amount of pressure, a kiss that she will remember!